


Betrayal (the lunchmeat edition)

by elrhiarhodan



Category: White Collar
Genre: Crack, Food, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-17
Updated: 2012-04-17
Packaged: 2017-11-03 20:03:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/385398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elrhiarhodan/pseuds/elrhiarhodan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elizabeth commits the ultimate act of betrayal</p>
            </blockquote>





	Betrayal (the lunchmeat edition)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Leonie_Alastair](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leonie_Alastair/gifts).



“I can’t believe you did that, El! Do you know how much this hurts?” 

Elizabeth winced at the outrage in Neal’s voice. “I can’t believe you’re making such a big deal out of this.”

“You, of all people should know better.”

“It’s not like it’s the end of the world, Neal. And isn’t variety is the spice of life?”

He continued, as if she never spoke, “To betray Peter like that.”

She shook her head. Clearly, Neal wasn’t in any mood to listen to reason. “It was for his own good.”

“His own GOOD?!?!?!?!?!?!!” The indignation was classic Caffrey. “First you say you need variety, and then you say you did it for his benefit. Which is it, Elizabeth? And while you make up your mind, consider that you owe both of us an apology.” Neal stood there, arms folded across his chest, those blue eyes flashing in anger.

“Don’t you think you’re taking this a bit too far? It’s not like I went out and fucked Mozzie in the Taurus or had an affair with Jones.”

“That wouldn’t have been half as bad as this.” Neal wasn’t giving up his anger so easily.

“Look – Peter’s doctor said that he needed to cut back on his sodium intake. Do you have any idea how much there is in a single serving of deviled ham?”

Neal blinked and it seemed like she was finally getting through to him. Time to hit it out of the park. “Look, we both want Peter to live a long and healthy life. You know that blood pressure medications can have an unpleasant effect on male libido.”

“His blood pressure is that bad?” Now, Neal was all concern and worry. 

“No – but it could be if he doesn’t watch what he eats. There’s nothing wrong with white meat turkey on low calorie rye.”

Neal let out a gusty sigh. “When Peter and I do a stakeout in the car, it’s deviled ham and the Yankees game. Not white meat turkey on low-cal rye and a Mets game. It doesn’t work like that.” 

El couldn’t keep the expression of triumph off her face.

He glared at her and she could see the light dawning in his eyes. “You didn’t want to make Peter the deviled ham sandwich, did you? For shame, Elizabeth Burke. For shame.”

_And here we go again._ “Did Peter put you up to this? Did he spend the whole night complaining?”

“No – of course he didn’t. He wouldn’t. But you should have seen his face when he took out his sandwich. You might as well have stuck a knife in him.”

“Neal – enough. I’ve been making Peter those disgusting sandwiches for all the years we’ve been married and sometimes I just need a change of pace.” El walked away, she had to. Neal may be their lover and best friend, but sometimes he was such a little boy.

“But – but … you jinxed the stakeout!”

__

FIN

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a fill for leonie_alistair, as a response to [this prompt](http://elrhiarhodan.dreamwidth.org/254725.html?thread=7238661#cmt7238661) on my on-going [meme.](http://elrhiarhodan.dreamwidth.org/254725.html)


End file.
